It's Never Sunny in Arkham City...

I know I should probably leave the game reviews to this guy, but I got my grubby little fingers on a copy of  Batman: Arkham City and I thought I should really tell someone about how much ass it kicks.  The game delivers near-lethal doses of badass at all times, and the only reason I'm typing this right now instead of playing the game is because my heart literally can't take any more face smashing action for the next few hours, lest I drop into a coma like so many of Batman's powerless victims.

     Arkham City continues where Batman: Arkham Asylum left off, which is to say that it continues the saga of the world's worst city officials making increasingly poor decisions about the most dangerous criminals in America.  This time they've decided that since Arkham Asylum turned out so well, they're gonna go ahead and model an entire criminal city after it, and what the hell, let's put known psycho Dr. Hugo Strange in charge of it all.  This can only end well.  The beginning of the game sees Bruce Wayne getting arrested and thrown into Arkham City (on purpose), in order to find a few more people to punch into seizures.  Then Alfred airdrops all his Batman luggage into the city, and the Dark Knight can finally get down to his real business.... Punching more people into seizures.
     The game flows at a pretty steady pace, leading from one supervillain to the next; from Penguin to Two-Face to the Joker, pretty much the whole gang is here, just waiting to get the evil shit kicked out of them by the meanest sonofabitch in Gotham.  When you're not handing out handfuls of beatings to the poor and needy, you swing around town like a badass, investigate crime scenes, back-handspring kick strangers in the face, and pick up a bunch of shit the Riddler left lying around town.
     The combat is fluid and ridiculous, as you bounce back and forth between evildoers and rock their socks off with devastating punches, kicks, elbows, and backhands.  Swooping down into a gang of ten bad guys and smacking the bejesus out of them until they all go into comas is a pleasure that never gets old, which is good because it happens A LOT.  You can also opt for stealth takedowns, which are good for armed enemies, but nothing gets your point across quite like dropping down between two best friends and beating them until they forget each other's names.  If ass-kicking were currency, Batman would still be the richest bastard in Gotham.
     Batman: Arkham Asylum shines on pretty much every front, and proves that not every licensed game has to be a total crock of shit.  You can spend hours getting lost in Arkham City, dropping in on unsuspecting enemies and coming dangerously close to breaking Batman's no-kill rule.  There are plenty of side missions to take on outside the main quest, and all of them provide rich color and life to Arkham City.  There's always more ass to kick in Arkham, and it's always satisfying to do so.  Pick it up today, and watch the bodies pile ever skyward.