Sub-Par

So they finally got rid of that terrible Hogi Yogi. Thank God.  I've never been angrier at a sandwich in my life.  Whenever I ate at Hogi Yogi, I felt like I had been insulted on a personal level, as though the sandwich somehow offended my grandmother's honor.  That is the level of disgusting we were forced to deal with for far too long here at UVU, and an injustice that will hopefully be righted by an actual sandwich store, Subway.  I decided to try it out, as many others already have, though I felt this Subway had more to live up to than it's standalone brethren, as this newcomer also needed to heal the deep wounds inflicted by its evil predecessor.  Can these sandwiches stand up and overcome the brutal sandwich history that we've had to suffer through all these years?

They finally gave 'Shouting' a TV series

Flipping through the channels the other day, I came to rest on a commercial for a series on A&E entitled, Beyond Scared Straight.  The commercial showed several different shots of little a-hole kids getting yelled at by hardened criminals and the guards sworn to protect us from them, though it appears just this once they're letting that slide a bit.  There were kids crying, angry black dudes, hair pulling, tattoos and threats of serious physical and emotional injury.  This sounded like perhaps the best show ever made.  I quickly changed the station to A&E, and to my great fortune, there was a whole marathon going on!  Homework and responsible adulthood were going to have to take a rain check (as if they haven't already been doing that my entire "adult" life) because today, there were more pressing matters at hand.

         This woman has a tattoo beard.  Fighting and Yelling are the only things on her to-do list today

Failure Is Not An Option

Ah Wal-Mart, such a beautiful mess of savings and cellulite.  It's a shame such a fantastic establishment has taken on such a bad reputation in recent years, as some of my favorite impulse buys have taken place here, along with more than a few near-stabbings.  One of my favorite sweet-deal hotspots has always been the Five Dollar Movie Bin.  This mountain of plastic failure houses some of the worst, and therefore best movies ever made, and always draws me in to find a night's worth of entertainment at a criminally low price.  Today was indeed a special day, as I managed to unearth the holy relic that is "The Substitute" 4-pack.  Whoever made these movies is a genius.  Whoever made them so cheap, a saint.

Track 1

I buy a lot of useless crap.  A LOT of useless crap.  Most of it without even really thinking about it.  I own the season 4 box set of Ninja Turtles, for no reason at all.  I spent fifteen dollars on a burger king mask once. I have a Zune.  I consistently make poor spending decisions.  But rather than curb these bad habits, I've decided to start a blog in which I embrace them, until they inevitably bankrupt me.  And somehow this is supposed to teach me something about myself or the world.  **Spoiler Alert: it probably won't**
     Basically, here's how it's supposed to work:  I see an advertisement for a product, whether it be a commercial, online ad, billboard, whatever, and I try it out.  It could be something cool, it will probably be something ridiculous, and it will hopefully be something worth reading about.  All that matters is that the product is advertised somehow, somewhere, regardless of whether or not I even want it.  So hopefully this will prove entertaining or informative or both, and I hope you all find amusement in my downward spiral into credit card debt.