Someone Gets Naked

So I've bought a shitload of  video games recently.  And by "Shitload" I mean three, which is three more than I have any reasonable need to buy.  It's been a bountiful harvest for games this fall, and wouldn't you know it, I'm still not very good at any of them.  I have no business buying or playing any game that isn't Mario Kart for the Wii (my eternal dominance at this game has yet to be matched by man or machine), but I do it anyway, and then I feel really bad about it because I've got 60 less dollars to spend on hamburgers and candy.  Oh, and I also write half-assed blogs about it too:

No-Call List

Herman Cain called my house yesterday.  He sounded pretty concerned about my future, even had an ominous bell tolling in the background.  I thought maybe he was hanging out with The Undertaker.  Or maybe he just really likes that one Smashing Pumpkins song.  Turns out, he's a terrible listener.  Anytime I tried to ask him a question, he just kept going on and on about how important it was that I vote for him in the upcoming election.  I honestly thought we were having those next year, but maybe I'm wrong, he seemed very serious.  The conversation was very one-sided, and when he was done he just hung up without letting me say goodbye.  To be completely honest, I think he's kind of an asshole.  I mean really, you call my house and you won't even let me get a word in edgewise?  Bad form dude, bad form.  At least Rick Perry had the decency to thank me when he was done talking over all of my questions.  I wonder how they expect anyone to vote when they have zero phone etiquette like that.  I don't even vote at all, especially not for phone dicks who waste my time.  I always thought talking to robots hell-bent on driving the world straight to shit would be at least a little cool, turns out it's just kind of annoying, especially during Sunday dinner. So when the Hermanator calls your house blasting his theme music for the Royal Rumble, or when Rick Perry tries to sing you some showtunes or whatever other ridiculous shit they try to do to buy your vote, you should probably hang up, because they're only there to talk at you, not to you.  But save their numbers, so you can call them later at three in the morning and make loud fart noises or something awesome like that.  Maybe then they'll listen.